Difficult feelings can emerge
If you’ve lost a father or father figure, it’s normal to have mixed feelings that come and go throughout the days, weeks, and months. On a day of celebration like Father’s Day, these feelings will probably be harder to cope with and may even be unexpected if you had been coping well. It’s common for difficult feelings to emerge on a day when everyone else is experiencing joy.
Pay attention to where you are in the grieving process, and plan out how you will spend the day. Whether you quietly reflect, spend time with others, or keep yourself busy, try to find meaning where you can, pay attention to the feelings that come up, and go easy on yourself. Try reaching out to a grief counselor if the day feels too difficult to manage alone…
Steps for Working Through Grief
Steps for Working Through Grief
Once you’ve shed the heavy load of grief and embark on your new journey, keep in mind five important steps you must take:
Help Someone Else: One of the best things you can do with all the lessons you’ve learned from your time in grief is to help another through their journey. You can volunteer at a hospice or community grief support center, moderate small grief-support groups, or be a one-on-one companion for someone who has just experienced a devastating loss. You will not only receive the reward of helping another in need, but you will also be frequently reminded of how far you have come.
Take Responsibility for Your Own Life: It’s time to realize you are no longer responsible for your loved one. You must give up any excuses for not moving forward in life and take 100% responsibility for yourself.
Change Your Way of Thinking: It’s time to change any negative self-talk to words of affirmation. Change “I can’t do that…” to “I can do anything!”, and “That won’t happen…” to “I can see this happening!”. Having a positive can-do attitude will sustain you on this new path.
Do Something New: You are a new person so it’s only fitting you do something new. Learn a new skill, travel to new places, do something you never thought you would do. Even if you think you don’t like something or think of something as too scary, just try it! You might discover that you actually like it after all or that taking risks can actually be fun.
Set New Personal Goals: Set new goals that you can begin to work towards. Set one goal for one year from now, another for two years from now, and a third for five years from now. Write these goals down in a journal or save them to your computer where you can find and revisit them often. Having goals to work towards will keep you moving on your new journey.
